Monday, June 30, 2008

June 29, 2008

No litter today. If this is today’s biggest disappointment, then life is good.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

June 28, 2008

Someone was having a good ‘ol time sometime Friday night or Saturday morning. I found the below pictured nip of Hiram Walker’s Blackberry brandy on my front lawn. Blackberry brandy? I guess a seven-year-old alcoholic was too lazy, or wasted, to hit a trash barrel; or maybe the boys in blue pulled him or her over on his trikie and had to ditch the stash in a hurry. Even worse than the wimpiness of the bottle size and flavor is the fact the bottle wasn’t even empty!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

June 27, 2008

Your guess is as good as mine. Unless you know what the below is, then your guess is better than mine, you fancy pants know it all, you! This approx 5” by 4” piece of paper has me wondering what the text means. After I found this thing on my front walkway, I spotted another a good distance from my house, but it read, “ REVIEW, wksh. A.” The mystery grows.

Friday, June 27, 2008

June 26, 2008

Oh lookie, someone’s shopping list: dogfood, garden burgers, milk, chips, split breasts are some of the items listed. On the flip side, which is not pictured, is “Pet Salon, Dew Claws.” The writing looks to be that of a female. This list found its way down my driveway and nestled up against a railroad tie I have in my backyard. One thing missing from this list, “I shall not properly dispose of this list when completed. Instead, I’ll drop it on the ground creating blight on the landscape and maybe even hinder someone else with the responsibility of actually placing this piece of refuse in its place.” So touchy…

Thursday, June 26, 2008

June 25, 2008

Well folks, if this blog hasn’t put you to sleep yet, today’s post certainly will: another got-dang straw! On the plus side, at least this straw bares for us its red stripe (unlike the yellow stripe shower straw seen in the June 17 entry). When I first saw this straw, it was remarkably close to where the 6.17.2008 straw was, but when I returned from my run, it was deeper into my driveway. Again, I am guessing this is a McDonald’s straw. Ever drink Red Stripe beer?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

June 24, 2008

If litter carried fleas or infectious diseases, the subject of the below picture would be infested or quarantined by the CDC. What a grubby looking piece of litter. This paper stuff has most certainly been disfigured by all the hard rain we’ve experienced over the past few days or so. I do see some orange in there, but I dare not investigate to better pinpoint its origin; looks too ucky! Boy, I sure am glad litter does not experience feelings because if it did, this one would be crying itself to sleep tonight.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

June 23, 2008

You’ll certainly forgive me for not capturing today’s litter in its original form and location. I walked by this busted and rusty razor blade at the end of my driveway and retrieved it hoping to avoid a possible barefoot cut and tetanus shot; many kids around. I kind of like the way the razor blade is split, the rusty metal, clean aluminum, and of course the “Made in the U.S.A.” lettering. I have a feeling the blade came from a nearby house that recently had its roof replaced as I’ve seen a blade or two, none as cool looking as my blade, in that yonder driveway.

Monday, June 23, 2008

June 22, 2008

Cri-key! Here we have a beeeeautiful specimen of something rather common ‘round these pahts: the discharged Dunkin’ Donuts cup. Look at the result of my crouching really low to get a bettah picture of this lovely plastic cup that probably, but absolutely not definitely, once held some iced coffee. I got in real tight and exposed myself to harm fearing the plastic should lash out with defensive thrusts of caffeine. This beeeeautifully squashed cup nearly slipped my radar this evening as I grilled a rack o’ribs on the bar-bi, but a friend who noticed this indigenous creature lurking so close to my property line brought it to my attention not sure if it was indeed over the line. Upon closah inspection, it was in my yard and qualified inclusion in this blog. This cup has obviously seen bettah days and its lid is nowhere to found…no where to be found. Honestly, I am quite surprised it took so long for this to show its head as patrons of Dunkin’ Donuts, and the Massachusetts State Lottery, are some the worst littering offenders.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

June 21, 2008

Well, sometimes things you do come back and kick you in the butt. This blog is about litter, those who litter, and anything I feel like spewing. I found the below piece of paper in my back yard. After taking a few pictures, I noticed some writing on the other side and opened it to have a gander. Hey, it was a girl’s name and telephone number obviously written by a child. Hey, that sticker looks familiar. Hey again, my daughter has a friend with that name. So I asked my 7-year-old daughter if the paper was hers and she responsed, “Yes! Where did you find that”? Of course, this case of littering is not really littering because my daughter mistakenly dropped it, in brilliant fashion by the way, at no fault of her own. No, no, no, not my daughter! A litter bug? No. Your kids maybe, but not mine. Don’t you just love how people make excuses for their own kids? On the other hand, my daughter is thrilled about making this blog even though she thinks it and her dad are “so weird.”

Saturday, June 21, 2008

June 20, 2008

The top picture shows the wind aided trash in its original form. The picture beneath it is that same paper opened for all to see. The illustration is signed by someone named Matt and reads, “In memory of J.” The last name is lost due to the tear in the paper. I’ve no idea who this J fella’ is, but the picture reminds me of Patton Oswald.

Friday, June 20, 2008

June 19, 2008

No litter today. Although, from my front window I watched as a piece of something-some kind of label, colorful label- tumbled by my yard and down the street like tumbleweed tumbling through Dodge on a dusty windy day. So close yet so far away. Ye-haw!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

June 18, 2008

Just when I, and probably you as well, thought this blog couldn’t get any more boring, today’s trash is a measly piece of white cardboard. Though I found no snack cake shrapnel, it looks like it could be one of those pieces of cardboard found in Twinkies, Sno Balls (so cute how they omit the “w”), or Cupcake packages. However, the piece is too small to be part of the Twinkie packaging and too big to be a cupcake backer. Yodels, maybe? Perhaps something from Lil’ Debbie? Remember Big Wheels and how they came wrapped in tin foil? I want Twinkies, now, but I am not a fan of the new Twinkie guy. He looks way too cheerful showing way too much teeth.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

June 17, 2008

The pictured straw, which landed at the end of my driveway, may technically only be partially in my yard, but I did not have my plot plan or surveyor’s gadgets (tripod thing and large ruler) to help accurately shoot my property line. The red (hidden on other side of straw) and yellow stripes lead me to think the straw is from McDonald’s, but I have not been to Burger King in years, so I’m not 100% on this. I’ll tell you, back in the day when I use to be a plasterer, I knew a few guys-and girls-who could’ve, ehem would’ve, made good use of that straw, and that use has nothing to do with beverages. Note: that grubby looking cigarette butt is definitely not within my property bounds, so there’ll be no comment concerning it, except for this disclaimer and the “grubby” adjective.

Monday, June 16, 2008

June 16, 2008

The below isn’t true litter, but it was left in my yard by living things: fighting hobo cats. There are several feral cats living around my house, including one mean ass looking white cat acting as the alpha male. This cat has a permanent scowl on his face that has me thinking he could kick my butt at his leisure. I have seen this cat brawl with other cats and also woo the lady felines always “closing the deal.” Anywho, this morning at about 5:30, I was awakened by the screaming howls of a cat. It was so loud, I had no choice but to get up and try to scare the cats away. I looked out of my kitchen window and saw Whitey on top of a multi colored cat. Neither cat was happy. Seizing the moment, I grabbed my camera and slowly opened my door. However, the cats got spooked and bolted into my back yard where they engaged in a ferocious battle. The two got themselves into a bear hug and just tore the ever living snot out of each other. Now, we’ve all seen fights that were simply fights. Then there are the fights that make you wince and really feel concern for the combatants. This was one of those fights. It was so bad, I became distracted and failed to video the fight. I ended up yelling at the cats, which broke up the fight. Whitey glared at me as he sauntered away while the other hauled arse over the fence. So, I got the next best thing and took pictures of the shredded fur. I took a wide-angle picture to show the wild amount of fur, but it didn’t come out so hot. The below picture is about one tenth of the fur left behind by the duking cats. Later in the day, I came across Whitey and his usual scowl. Ok, I know you’re waiting for me to somehow work in “kitty litter” here, so there it is.

June 15, 2008

It’s not cardboard, it’s not linoleum, it’s an approximate 3”x 4” ULO (unidentified littered object). I really cannot figure out what this piece of trash is or its possible purpose on this fine planet of ours. Whatever it is, it landed at the foot of my driveway but now calls my trash barrel home.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

June 14, 2008

The below weathered box was today’s blown in treat. The box, which is also squashed flat, once housed 50 (fifty) of those little illicit looking snap explosives we all enjoyed as kids-except you freaks who couldn’t stand loud noises and feverishly covered your ears with a panicked look as if actual hand grenades where being used. Most likely enjoyed by the neighborhood ruffians, the empty, sans a trapped leaf, box found its way into my backyard. As a fine young laddy, I recall using these things and enjoying them. However, nowadays I find the box’s text more amusing: “Snappers a novel Trick. Item Bang” and “Do not put in mouth. Throw on ground.” I find it funny that the package warns “Handle Carefully,” but also instructs users to “snap it” and even depicts a little explosion on the girl’s hand. And what’s the deal with all the red dots on the girl’s dress?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

June 13, 2008

No wind on this fine Friday the 13th. However, the cellophane top from a cigarette package did find its way into my front yard. The yellow band around the thing reads “60 cents off.” Ok, so I couldn’t find the damn cent symbol so that quote is 100% accurate. 60 cents off; I wonder if the purchaser put the savings into his or her lung transplant fund. In my next book (due out by the end of the year), is a story about why I do not smoke and how that behavior was scared right the hell out of me. Yes, I once held the stick of smoky death in my mouth, when I was 9.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

June 12, 2008

No wind blown trash today, but while hunting for the objects of this blog, my driveway became center ring for two brawling yellow jackets...and yes, the winner came after my ass.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

June 11, 2008

A receipt from a Stop & Shop (supermarket). Oddly enough, my town doesn’t have a supermarket so we must spend our dollars in surrounding towns. Though, an unnamed supermarket chain just received special zoning to develop in my town. I do find Stop & Shop’s fruit to be stellar, but their meats leave a lot to be desired.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

June 10, 2008

The below rubber band (elastic to some) was dropped on my walkway by none other than my fine postal carrier. However, this particular carrier was not my usual carrier, Frank, but a substitute. Recently, I gave my cousin, who has been a mailman for about 20 years, a copy of Bukowski’s Post Office (published in 1971) and after reading it, he told me about his employers and the book, “Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed.”

Monday, June 9, 2008

June 9, 2008

Now this is litter I can handle: a cute picture (approx 8x4) of a swordfish on one side, and an even cuter “To Alyssa from Julia” offering on the other. The drawing was obviously created by a youngster and dropped outside of one of the many schools within throwing distance of my house.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

June 8, 2008

All over the world environmentalists are having conniptions for a Styrofoam packing peanut blew into my yard today. Not only is it litter, it is harmful litter! Suffer Michael Stipe, suffer (he once stopped a concert to belittle-though I bet he’d use the word “educate”- a fella’ in the front row who dare drink from a Styrofoam cup). What I found odd about this Styrofoam peanut was that it was the only one around. You never see just one of these babies! However, when I walked down the street later in the day, low and behold were several hundred brothers and sisters of the loner peanut. Now, when I tried to take this buggah’s picture, it was situated in my driveway at the foot of my back porch, which is the most effective wind tunnel this side of any NASA laboratory. The peanut constantly found itself in a whirlwind going ‘round and ‘round nearly irking me to no end as I surely must have looked like a total moron sitting in the hot sun waiting for the damn thing to settle down so I could take its picture!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

June 7, 2008

How appropriate that on today, the by far hottest day of 2008 (90+), a wrapper belonging to a “Soda Pops” ice treat blew into my front yard. I had never heard of this product, but “Soda Pops” ice treats are flavored like Dr. Pepper, Orange Crush, A&W Root Beer, and 7 UP sodas. Just the thought of Dr. Pepper gives me the shivers…

Friday, June 6, 2008

June 6, 2008

Yet another day of gray clouds and rain made foot traffic very light. The only thing to cross the border is the below Marlboro cigarette butt. This piece of litter is not a stranger because I know exactly from where it came: my do gooder neighbor’s grandson. This guy is in his early 20s and does nothing but live off his grandparents, smoke, and spit. I did not see the clown put the fling to the butt, but I know he’s guilty. I know he’s guilty. Making this tame find a bit more festive was the middle aged man who drove by on his 1950 ten speed bike with his finger crammed deep into his left nostril while I snapped the picture (maybe I should’ve taken his picture). Tomorrow is Saturday and it’s supposed to be in the low 90s, so hopefully something more substantial shall blow this way.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

June 5, 2008

Another gloomy day over here in the lovely South Shore of Massachusetts and another day of zero pedestrian zombies; sans a few umbrella carrying bravehearts. Although, “they” were able to sneak in a playoff baseball game up at the stadium near my house, but no one waked their trash. However, first thing this morning, as I stand on my porch to check out the day, I spied in my backyard the below piece of beat up gray plastic (appears to be a from a garbage bag) and the cellophane wrapper and label that once helped maintain the freshness of one “Dutch Masters” cigar. Since these two runaways were in my backyard, they had to have been blown down the length of my driveway since the backyard is 95% fenced.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

June 4, 2008

Today’s hopes of wind blown trash were mighty low due to day long rains and zero foot traffic around my house. However, after running some errands, I arrived home and found the below plastic bag resting in my driveway. The bag is from some store a few towns away that is mostly likely frequented by crackheads selling their junk for rock money. Of course, I am prejudging the store due to its name and the place it resides. Strangely, the bag’s bright blue dreamy like color really stood out against the wet and darkened asphalt.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

June 3, 2008

Three days into my project and I already face turbulence thanks to my do gooder neighbor. While walking the perimeter of my yard, I noticed a disheveled looking, and rather lengthy, receipt from Home Depot cast away on my front lawn. I walked into my house, was preoccupied by work for a moment (how dare they), then grabbed my camera and headed into the sunlight for some picture taking. Wouldn’t you know and creepers crow! The receipt was gone. Since it wasn’t windy at the moment, I glanced around but found nothing. Looking up, I noticed my next-door neighbor, a fine gentleman of retirement age, walking his dog down the street with a white piece of paper in his hand.

Monday, June 2, 2008

June 2, 2008

A cigarette butt found its way from the smelly mouth of a butthead to the end of my driveway. Smoke inhalation is the number one killer in house fires, why people voluntarily inhale smoke into their own lungs is beyond me.

A grease monkey who cannot hold onto his approx 10”x 10” rag is not much of a grease monkey. Though, I suspect this rag came from the neighbors who live nearby and greatly alter their lives to fix their junk boxes on wheels. Rag is shown in its “blown in” original state.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

June 1, 2008

The foil wrapper once wrapping a stick of gum that was certainly gnawed upon by some obviously rude cow of a human being: