Saturday, August 30, 2008

Aug 13, 2008

A receipt from a car wash about 5 miles from my house found itself stranded against the foundation of my house, upside down. The once proud owner of this receipt, and obvious auto cleanliness conscience person bought the “Diamond Package” and “Exterior Package,” paying with a credit card. I find it hypocritical that this person felt the urge to keep his/her car clean, but did not think twice about making our fine environment just a little dirtier. I’ve had my car since 1999 and not once has it seen the car wash.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Aug 12, 2008

“Gosh Timmy, I feel like smoking a stogie but I also crave the taste of peaches. What should I do?”
“Lucky for you Johnny there’s a nearby convenience store where we can drop on in and see if they carry Phillies peach flavored cigars.”
“You are a man of answers, Timmy. A man of answers.”
I am floored by the fruit flavored cigars! Scroll down to July 12 to see the apple flavored cigars. Why the fruit flavors? How about cigars flavored as potato chips, steak, or…wait a minute…beer? Or, for you sophisticated turds, scotch (I think it’s a trendy thing these days to smoke cigars and scotch). Now those flavors make sense to me. Though, it would be great to hear, “Hey fellas, have you tried the new kiwi flavored cigars?”
What’s the deal with the yellow star “Buy One Get One” callout? Not very specific is it?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Aug 11, 2008

This fine example of a crusty old pen is pictured barely lurking over my property line separating the street from my driveway. This pen has been kicked about a long time because it is rusty and pretty weathered. How it found its way to the great wide open at the end of my driveway is a bit of a mystery. Someone would’ve had to either picked it up or kicked it from a more secluded or protected spot; the end of my street, perhaps. Wow, I just tried writing with the pen and it still works. Now that’s one good pen.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Aug 10, 2008

Today’s litter takes a turn for the festive: a red balloon approx 7 inches long most likely lost by some sort of clown to blow up and twist into animals, swords, or silly headwear. I happen to know a woman who is a part time clown and one day I saw her in complete get up before a party. She looked the good clown, but was swearing up a storm like a drunken sailor as she stormed around her house looking for her cell phone. I find clown damn creepy and I do not like them.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Aug 9, 2008

Lookie likie someone (whose name I covered with a leaf) lost their proof of health insurance coverage for tax reporting resons. The facing letter is the proof, the folded letter explains how to have the main letter translated. This information is in about 10 different languages.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

Aug 7, 2008

This candybar foil wrapper danced around my front yard in a bevy of unchoreographed circles for hours before I finally snapped its picture. It really appeared to be going out of its way to capture my attention. “Over here!” it desperately wanted to yell, but couldn’t because candybar wrappers don’t have mouths and even if they did, candybars can’t talk. Although, they do often scream my name when I see them. Gasp! Perhaps candybars are able to communicate without speaking. By golly they’re able to put thoughts and wants into our minds against our will! Damn them…damn them. Baby Ruth. I use to love this candybar, but I haven’t had one in a very long time. For some reason, I feel like watching Caddyshack. “It’s no big deal.”

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Aug 6, 2008

What you see pictured below is a twisted mass of thin culinary cardboard. What you do not see pictured below is the self camoflauging remains of a McDonald’s Chicken Select box.

Aug 5, 2008

No trash today.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Aug 4, 2008

And now we are talking, baby! Jameson Irish Whiskey. If I were a drunken bum, I just may have opened up this nip and finished the remaining quarter mouthful left inside. Never mind Bud Light and Blackberry flavored junk pictured below; a true booze has found its way into my yard. Jameson is great with Pepsi or Ginger Ale, and even straight if you do not mind feeling like you swallowed Icy Hot and enjoy the slow icy burn of whiskey.

Aug 3, 2008

I have no idea what this business card size piece of information-laden cardboard is. It lists my hometown on it, so it comes from something located within the town’s limits. Mysterious litter, at least to me, it is!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Aug 2, 2008

At first, I thought the below was just another piece of red plastic cast from wherever. However, my daughter spotted it and told me she thinks it’s one of those cheese spreaders included in a packages of cheese and crackers. By George I think she’s right!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Aug 1, 2008

Yikes, August is the third and final month of this silly blog and here we are, already. The summer sure did fly. Today we have the pay stub belong to someone who’ll remain anonymous (I purposely placed the little stick over the name). Unfortunately, the person’s social security number is X’ed out, so I am unable to steal his identity. “Darn it!” I scream while shaking my fist to the heavens.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

July 31

When I first spotted the below in my front yard, I thought it was the typical drinking straw. However, as I approached the object and got a closer look, it revealed itself as the empty housing of a Papermate writing instrument. This junk was found in an area of my yard that is very light in litter. In fact, of all the trash pictured and written below, this is only the second piece to land in this small area of the yard. Notice the end (top of picture); chewed to hell.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

July 30, 2008

There’s litter then there’s litter that skeeves you out on several levels. The below piece of work has skeeved me out for several reasons. First, it’s litter. Second, the degenerate who was simply too lazy to put litter in its place also lacked the gumption to properly dispose of his or her chewing gum, “Ya, I think I’ll stick my gum right here on the straw while I drink this high calorie, high sugar, high in caffeine drink-you know, the stuff that does the body good- ‘til I finish and chuck it out the window.” The cup lid and straw come from Dunkin Donuts (the actual cup called across the street home) while the gum from an obvious life slacker. And what is the deal with the melted straw end? No, no, no…there’s nothing right about this trash.

Friday, August 1, 2008

July 29, 2008

This intrusive jerk of a shopping bag (Stop&Shop) took things a bit too far when it decided to trespass not only into my land, but up and onto my front porch! How dare it! Another shopping bag, similar in nature, found its way high up into a tree in a neighbor’s yard last winter. Of course, the branch the bag became hung up on overhangs my property and it’s too high to reach and remove. The thing is now one grody looking piece of swinging trash with just enough water housed within giving it the look of a male’s private part. Gosh, if only Mr. Fantastic were real…