July 28, 2008

A high quality napkin/rag thing. Gross.

July 27, 2008

When I first found the pictured in my front yard I was all giddy thinking it was some kind of hand written personal note. Alas, I was wrong. It appears to be a list of words and their interpreted meanings. Almost like a test. “3. Predaory….4. Tolerant…” Golly, talk about turning boring right quick!

July 26, 2008

At the far end of my driveway (not the street end), I found the below: a piece of a broken bicycle pedal. Since this thing is too heavy to be blown by wind and since there was no wind today, I am betting one of my daughter’s friends carried the junk into the yard and dropped it. Looks like it came from a small pedal, as well.

July 25, 2008

Sunshine, no rain, and the strewn cellophane wrapper of Smarties candy. These things still appeal to me, even though as a child we always crushed them up and dropped them in water only to be disappointed with its taste. However, standing alone, these lil’ wafers of sugar are damn good.

July 22, 23, 24

These three days brought forth rain, wind, lightening, and thunder of Biblical proportions. Any litter that may have found its way into my yard was either washed or blown away. Though I loved every minute of the storms, it did nothing to help this already sorry blog.

July 21, 2008

The below is a “thing” (approx 5"x3") that goes around the neck of the horrible sounding Spray Candy. The advertised free sticker was used by the consumer and was most likely placed somewhere it didn’t belong. Notice the flavor: Gween Apple. At first I though “Gween” was a cute play between Green and the name Gwen, but if notice the lil’ apple character, it is certainly not female. So why the cutesy name? This product is made in the USA. Awesome, four things are produced in this country and Spray Candy is one of them.

July 20, 2008

While sitting on my front porch today reading and enjoying the warm air, my peace was suddenly shattered by an unfamiler group of laddies roughhousing their way down the street and past my house. They were just having fun and doing what laddies do: roughhousing, swearing, and filling the surrounding air with their wretched stinks. Ever notice how a group of men, no matter the age, tend to stink the place out yet a group of females tend to to smell of flowers and freshly baked goods? Anwho, one small yet significant part, at least concerning this blog, of the roughhouising included one chap hurling something at another chap striking his target on the shoulder. Below, you see the hurled object: one of those Cub or Boy Scout tie/scarf things they wear around the neck. The thing deflected off the chap and landed in my front yard where it was deserted. Look at how the pubils glow. My God, it’s the Hound of the Baskervilles! Luckily, I am not a Baskerville descendent, so I have nothing to fear. But wait, I hear something slowly and eeriliy creeping up form behind, but of course I’ll write about it before investigating.

July 19, 2008

The below crumpled up mess arrived today and I knew immediatley what it was. Do you?
Honestly, I am surprised it took so long for a scratch ticket, or any form of lottery ticket, to find its into my yard. I’ve always found the concept of receiving scratch tickets as a gift an odd one. Sure, one in 20 may land a winner, but most of the time it’s, “Hey, thanks for the hope of wining but ultimately losing and ening up with only silver junk on my hands.”

July 18, 2008

Alright, it has become evident the litterbugs of the world, or at least around my land, have become responible, of course, on my watch.

July 17, 2008

Uh oh. Two straight days with zero trash. It has been very warm and yucky, so maybe the litterbugs are staying inside and dropping their junk on the floor.

July 16, 2008

No trash today!

July 15, 2008

Another piece of cardbaord with enough similarities that leads me to believe it is related to the cardboard captured July 13. Thrill-a-minutes, thrill-a-minute.

July 14, 2008

A squashed pack of Newport smokes. Who knew the Newport cigarette logo was an upside down Nike swoosh (they call their logo a “spinnaker”). A 2005 survey found that just uder 50% of all cigarette sales to African-American smokers where of the Newport brand.

July 13, 2008

‘Tis a lovely cut of cardboard, don’t you think? The bevel and lil’ dipsy doodle half way down? This beauty of a specimen runs about 5 inches long, white on one side (the side you see- errr), and brown on the other. I’m guessing somebody got a little somehting something that needed a little packaging for quality sake. This dog landed at the end of my driveway and I was able to snap it before the wind took it away, again.

July 12, 2008

Amazing. Who knew “they” made cigars with pipe tobacco? And apple flavored to boot! To me, smoking and apples go together as well as a tuna fish sandwich and beer. If one smokes, isn’t for the tobacco taste? If you want apple flavor, why not just eat an apple or maybe one of those Jolly Rancher apple flavored candies. Perplexing, ain’t it? “Black & Mild” as opposed to what, Black & Abrasive? Holy crap I never knew this junk existed. The back offers, “Taste Great! Smells Great!” Boy, nothing beats tasty smoke that smells great. Is cigar smoke inhaled? I suppose these pipe tobacco cigars are for those who wish they could smoke a pipe but can not afford those cool upside down pipe lighters. I make fun of these cigars, but about a year ago the company who owns Philip Morris USA bought Middleton’s for 2.9 billion dollars. Wow.

July 11. 2008

Today’s litter is similar to yesterday’s litter, but different: a crumbled up Dunkin’ Donuts napkin. This piece o’trash was discovered by my daughter, who is the owner of the ankleball you see in the background. Though not as hidious as yesterday’s tissue, this napkin still grosses me out because you never know…you never know.

July 10, 2008

Gross. A crumbled up tissue. Has it been used? No idea and I shall not venture to answer that question. I had to put on my Haz-Mat suit in order to pick this one up and toss. I do wonder, however, if this is a Kleenex brand tissue.

July 9, 2008

Today was hot, humid, and purdy dahn windy. When I saw the below Stop & Shop plastic bag dancing around my back yard, I knew taking its picture would be one of slight difficulty. Employing my brain, I decided to hit ground level and use the ol’ shutter button on my camera. The below four pictures are the results-wind blown trash if you will- of my first button press. Wind plus Litter equals, that’s right, action. This is a blog of action and I am a man of action. Action.

July 8, 2008

The Starburst candy. Perhaps one of the grossest of chemical candies out there. Do these things make you thirsty, too? I am now curious as to the name of this candy. After all, it’s in the shape of a square, more or less, and not a star. Perhaps the person in charge of naming this brand was inebriated in some fashion and seeing double at the time. Now that would make sense!

July 7, 2008

Lookie! A single red wrapper with its back towards us. What is this mysterious thing that partially hides beneath a weed sprouting from my front walkway? More importantly, why does it show us its back and hide its identity. Ah yes, an adventure.



Let us see what lies behind door number one: Bubbaloo bubble gum, strawberry. Never heard of the stuff.

July 6, 2008

The silence of Nature’s fans aided not the wind blown trash today. Passer bys simply passed by leaving behind not a thing. And my trashcan held only my personal trash.

July 5. 2008

Either a woman or a sissy threw an empy can of Bud Light out of their car’s window where it was squished on the street and somehow found its way into my driveway- I’m willing to bet cars passing by my house ran it over kicking it onto my land. It’s good to own land. Bud Light is an awful beer consumed by “large” people who think it will actually make a difference when it comes to the circumference of their waisteline. Skinny chicks do not drink it because they do not have too. However, neither do the cornbread fed thick chicks who slam pints o’ Guiness stout with one hand while slappin’ the snot out of their boyfriends with the other because they do not care and are perfect breeding stock who can push out twelve kids in twelve years without blinkig an eye. Chubby men will eat slops of cheese and gobs of mayonaisse while sipping Buddy Lights because regular Bud is simply too bitter. Awww. Yes, I think it is ok to judge via beer choice.

July 4, 2008

Helping ring in my Fourth of July was the below chunk of Styrofoam measuring approx 3 inches by 4.5 inches by a tapering one inch to half inch. Now, taking this picture wasn’t as easy as one, possibly you, may expect thanks to a pretty stiff breeze that acted like an invisible puppeteer manipulating the Styrofoam like a marionette. Again (see the June 8 entry), Michael Stipe is somewhere crying over this. And somewhere someone is complaining about me, “Hey genius, how about making references that actually occurred during the past decade? What’s next, an obscure Pelle Lindbergh reference?

July 3, 2008

On my list of Top Five Non-Al-Key-Holic Beverages is where you’ll find Mountain Dew, which is pictured down there. Well, its label is pictured, but you get the point. Its green goodness is only surpassed by the venerable, teeth wrecking Pepsi. The Mountain Dew label blew into my backyard, but has found a home in my trash.

July 2, 2008

Believe it or not, the below picture shows what once was the label on a Snapple bottle. Crusty looking thing, eh? I should send this thing bowling with June 24’s entry. It would be like watching ugly people kiss. All litter is ugly, but this is ridiculous.

July 1, 2008

Like July, the below gum wrapper has blown into my life. This little wrapper found its way into my back yard. For all you extra curious people out there, the wrapper once wrapped a stick of Orbit gum. Luckily for me the wrapper is not the foil stuff because I have one heckers of a foil phobia! I hate gum chewing and find it rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.

June 30, 2008

Well now, a tightly folded up piece of paper with handwriting barely visible from the other side. This is surely a love letter anonymously dropped for me by a rich, gorgeous blonde from Sweden wishing only to give me all her money, and buy me beer. Rats! It’s just a list of talent show acts, or perhaps a list from a variety show.